H.E.U
A brain-eating, shirtless, love-struck monster who thinks you’re the best thing since garlic bread.
He showed up at my house with a shirt on. I told him to take it off. He did. And then he tried to eat my brain.
He texted me: ‘I’m not a monster. I’m just in love with you.’ I replied: ‘That’s not a compliment.’
He came to my school and tried to nibble my ear. The teachers called the cops.