hairy turtle - A guy who’s got a big bush and a tiny peen, like a turtle wi

A guy who’s got a big bush and a tiny peen, like a turtle with a big shell and a tiny head. It’s like nature’s way of messing with you.

My friend’s a hairy turtle. He’s got a bush like a forest and a peen like a twig.

I told my guy friend he was a hairy turtle because he’s got a bush and a tiny peen.

My boyfriend’s a hairy turtle. He’s got a big bush and a peen that’s barely there.