hairy tortoise

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a woman’s crotch if it had a bad hair day and a bunch of body odor

My aunt called my mom a hairy tortoise after she smelled her pants.

He said his teacher was a hairy tortoise because she had a full beard and smelled like a gym sock.

My brother’s friend got called a hairy tortoise because he forgot to shower and had a beard.

a woman’s private parts that look like they were attacked by a goat and a hair dryer

My cousin’s girlfriend got called a hairy tortoise at the mall because her legs were hairy and she smelled like a garbage can.

My mom said my uncle was a hairy tortoise because he had a beard and he smelled like a locker room.

My friend’s dad got called a hairy tortoise because he had a full beard and smelled like old cheese.

a woman’s lower half if it was covered in hair and it reeked like a swamp

My neighbor called my mom a hairy tortoise because she had a beard and smelled like a trash can.

My brother’s teacher got called a hairy tortoise because she had a full beard and smelled like a gym sock.

My friend’s dad got called a hairy tortoise because he had a beard and smelled like a locker room.