Hairy tard
A hairy tard is someone who looks like they got hit by a hairbrush and then forgot how to think.
My cousin is a hairy tard. He has hair on his nose and thinks a pencil is a magic wand.
That man at the gym is a hairy tard. He has hair on his arms and thinks a treadmill is a horse.
My teacher called me a hairy tard because I had a mustache and got in trouble.