Hairpie Hugger

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A sweaty, smelly contraption women wear to keep their extra vag parts from flopping out of their pants like a sad, used sock.

My Hairpie Hugger is so tight I can’t breathe, but I still wear it to school. #VagLife

Mom said I’d die without my Hairpie Hugger. I’m not sure if she’s lying or just tired of my complaints.

I tried wearing a thong with my Hairpie Hugger and now my phone doesn’t work. I think it’s haunted.

A cursed piece of plastic that women strap to their crotches to stop their vag from falling out like a sad, used sock.

My Hairpie Hugger has been with me through heartbreak, lunch periods, and one very loud math test.

I wore my Hairpie Hugger to the pool and now my whole class knows my secret. #VagLife

I tried to take it off during PE and my vag almost ran away. #VagEscapee

A sweaty, smelly, uncomfortable thing that women wear to keep their vag from flopping out and embarrassing them in public.

I wore my Hairpie Hugger to the prom and my date asked if I was a cyborg. #VagLife

My Hairpie Hugger is so tight it’s like I’m being squeezed by a confused octopus.

I tried to wear my Hairpie Hugger during a dance and my vag started doing the Macarena.