hairlisp
A fancy way of saying your mouth is a mess and you sound like a broken kazoo. All because of that stupid healed-up cleft lip. See Damien Lewis.
'She sounds like a broken kazoo that got run over by a goat.'
'That guy talks like he’s got a goat in his throat.'
'He’s got a hairlisp so bad, I think he’s trying to communicate with the afterlife.'