Hairless turnip

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The bare, bald, and utterly exposed package of a man who’s been trimmed down to the basics, no hair, just raw, angry meat.

My cousin's 'hairless turnip' is so smooth, I could slide a knife between it and his thigh.

He called my dad a 'hairless turnip' after he got a Brazilian wax.

My crush’s 'hairless turnip' is so low-maintenance, it’s practically a pet.

The bare, sweaty, and sometimes smelly lower part of a man, like a ball of fury with no cover.

My brother’s ‘hairless turnip’ looks like it’s been tortured by a laser.

My teacher said my ‘hairless turnip’ was the reason I got detention.

My ‘hairless turnip’ is so bald, I can see the veins.

The shaven, proud, and slightly smug balls of a man, like a shiny, bald trophy.

My friend’s ‘hairless turnip’ is so shiny, it reflects my face.

He called my ‘hairless turnip’ a ‘man’s pride.’

I got a tattoo of my ‘hairless turnip’, it’s now my new identity.