hair trigger

3 views · Added 2d ago · 7 definitions

A gun trigger that goes off like a f**king idiot. Also someone who gets PISSED OFF at the drop of a f**king hat.

My cousin got mad at me for spilling soda on his shoes. He screamed like a f**king banshee.

My mom yelled at me for eating the last slice of pizza. I was just trying to survive.

My brother flipped out because I forgot his birthday. I didn’t even know it was on a Tuesday.

No stamina when you're trying to f**k. You're barely halfway there and you're already f**king panting like a dog.

My guy tried to last 5 minutes, but he was done in 2. He looked like he ran a marathon.

My girl tried to do a double penetration and it was over in 3 seconds. She was like, 'I'm done.'

I had sex with my cousin and he lasted 1 minute. I was like, 'You're a f**king wimp.'

It’s the tiny piece of meat that makes you feel like a f**king god when it’s working right.

My girlfriend’s clitoris is so sensitive, I could make her cum with a whisper.

My guy’s clitoris is so big, it looks like a f**king sausage.

I told my sister she had a clitoris like a f**king superhero.

When you go number two like a f**king ninja. Quick. Quiet. And you’re out before anyone even notices.

My dad goes to the bathroom and is done in 3 seconds. I swear he doesn’t even touch the toilet paper.

My mom goes to the bathroom and it’s like she’s doing a f**king karate move. Done in a second.

My brother goes to the bathroom and it’s like he’s f**king teleporting. In and out like a f**king ghost.

When the f**king toilet flushes every time you sneeze. It’s like the toilet is trying to murder you.

I was trying to take a dump and the toilet flushed every time I moved. I was like, 'You’re trying to kill me.'

I was in the bathroom and the toilet flushed like 5 times. I looked like a f**king lunatic.

I was on the toilet and the toilet flushed like it had a f**king grudge against me.

A word Jim Lahey uses to describe f**king. He says it like it’s the worst thing ever. And it is.

Jim Lahey said, 'This is like a f**king hair trigger.' I was like, 'What the f**k does that mean?'

Jim Lahey compared my f**king to a hair trigger. I was like, 'What is this, a f**king analogy?'

Jim Lahey said, 'This is a f**king hair trigger.' I was like, 'What is a f**king hair trigger?'

It’s like calling a f**king nigger a f**king nigger in front of his f**king friends. You’re just being a f**king idiot.

I called my cousin a f**king nigger in front of his friends. He looked like he was about to f**king kill me.

My brother called my friend a f**king nigger in front of his whole family. He was like, 'You’re a f**king idiot.'

I called my mom a f**king nigger in front of my dad. He was like, 'What the f**k is wrong with you?'