hair of the bear that mauled you

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Vodka you chug the morning after you drank too much to forget your sins; like the old saying but with more alcohol and more shame.

I drank so much last night I turned my kitchen into a confessional. Hair of the bear that mauled me is my only prayer.

My boss called me at 9 AM. I didn’t answer. I was busy doing hair of the bear that mauled me.

My sister is still mad I drank her entire bottle of vodka. I had to do hair of the bear that mauled me to survive.

The drink you take to forget you made a fool of yourself; like when you got trashed and did something embarrassing.

I told my crush I was a vampire. Hair of the bear that mauled me was the only thing that could make me forget that.

I danced on a table at a bar. Hair of the bear that mauled me was my only hope of living through the morning.

I texted my ex ‘you were never my first love’. Hair of the bear that mauled me was the only thing that could save me.

The alcohol you need to forget you’re a drunk fool who made a mess of everything; like when you passed out and woke up in a stranger’s house.

I passed out on a stranger’s couch. Hair of the bear that mauled me was the only thing that could make me forget I did that.

I drank so much I called my mom ‘a bimbo’ on Zoom. Hair of the bear that mauled me was my last chance.

I woke up in a pizza box. Hair of the bear that mauled me was the only thing I could think of.