Haider Arslan
Haider Arslan is a legend, a beast, a god, and a man who could make you quit your job just to stare at him. He’s got Cameron as his sidekick, and Cameron’s got a good sense of humor.
Text: 'He’s so good, he could beat your ex at poker and steal your wife.'
Tweet: 'Haider walks in. I faint. My job quits me. My life is over.'
DM: 'Cameron laughs at me. Haider stares at me. I cry.'