Hagriding

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5 views · Added 12d ago · 7 definitions

When you're drunk and you drop a bomb of info right when it doesn't make sense, and you're too wasted to care if it ruins everyone's day.

My mom told my dad she was pregnant at a bar. He was too wasted to realize he was the dad.

I told my crush I was dating his best friend while I was drunk. Now he thinks I’m a liar.

My brother spilled the secret about my sister’s crush at a party. Now they’re both awkward.

by Slangipedia 12d ago

A girl with wild, messy pubes that look like they were grown in a trash can, just like Hagrid’s beard.

My cousin’s pubes look like a raccoon dug through her crotch.

My sister’s pubes are so wild, they’ve got their own Instagram page.

My friend’s pubes are so messy, they look like a tornado lived in there.

by Slangipedia 12d ago

A full-on bush that’s never been touched. Like it’s been growing for 50 years and it’s not even close to being trimmed.

My uncle’s pubes are so thick, they look like a forest.

My neighbor’s pubes are so wild, they’ve got their own ZIP code.

My dad’s bush is so thick, he could hide a goat in there.

by Slangipedia 12d ago

When you’re riding your girl, doggie style, you fake finish and then surprise her with a real finish and yell, 'Congratulations Harry! You're going to Hogwarts!'

I faked my finish on my girlfriend and then yelled, 'Congratulations Harry! You're going to Hogwarts!' She was confused and mad.

My friend did the same thing to his girlfriend and said, 'You're going to Hogwarts!' She laughed and said, 'I'm going to Hagriding!'

I did the fake finish trick on my crush and said, 'Congratulations Harry! You're going to Hogwarts!' He was confused and flattered.

by Slangipedia 12d ago

The fat guy who runs the game at Hogwarts and thinks he’s the best thing since sliced meatballs.

Hagrid thinks he’s the best keeper at Hogwarts. He’s just a meatball-shaped man with a beard.

Hagrid says he’s the best at everything. He even thinks he’s the best at being fat.

Hagrid told Harry he was the best at everything. Harry said, 'You’re just a fat man with a beard.'

by Slangipedia 12d ago

A fat woman who looks like Hagrid and has a magical crotch that makes gay men fall in love with her.

My aunt is a Hagriding woman. She makes out with guys and says she’s got a magical crotch.

My cousin’s Hagriding aunt makes out with guys and calls them 'my little love potions.'

My neighbor’s Hagriding aunt makes out with guys and says, 'You’ll never find a better magical crotch than mine.'

by Slangipedia 12d ago

A big, ugly, hairy man with messy hair, a beard, and clothes that look like they came from a landfill.

My uncle looks like Hagrid. He has a beard and clothes that look like they’ve been in a landfill for 20 years.

My neighbor is a Hagriding man. He has a beard and a shirt that looks like it was stolen from a trash can.

My brother looks like Hagrid. He has a beard and a shirt that looks like it was made from a sock.

by Slangipedia 12d ago