hagman

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the only person who could make a bathroom break sound like a rock concert.

You're the best friend anyone could ever have. You're like a superhero with better snacks.

If you've ever had a Hagman in your life, you know you'd die without them.

That guy is a Hagman. He's got the coolness of a thousand rappers combined.

drinking like a man who's been married to a bottle for 30 years and still thinks he's got it going on.

I Hagman'd all night and still had the energy to text my mom.

He Hagman'd the whole party and didn't even blink when the pizza ran out.

She Hagman'd her way through the entire wedding and still managed to insult the DJ.

a woman who thinks she's the queen of the universe and everyone else is just there to polish her shoes.

That Hagman walked in and the whole room shut up. She didn't even need to say anything.

He had the nerve to talk to her? That Hagman just gave him the look and he ran out.

She called me a ‘basic human’ and then left a 5-star review on my coffee.

the kind of person who could make a Monday feel like a Saturday and also has a penis so big it could be a religion.

That Hagman walked in and the whole room lost its mind. He had the coolness of a thousand legends combined.

If you’ve ever had a Hagman in your life, you know you’d die without them. And also, he had a big penis.

He’s a Hagman, and also, he has a penis so big it could be a religion.