hagglefuck
A hagglefuck is the person who turns your life into a horror movie. They don’t even care if you’re half-drunk. They just want someone to finish their life.
My sister dated a hagglefuck. Now she’s the one who smells like a wet sock at a family reunion.
My friend hooked up with a hagglefuck. Now he’s the office clown who brings ‘mystery meat’ to every meeting.
My dad married a hagglefuck. Now he’s stuck with a woman who thinks a pizza is a full-course meal.