My girlfriend flapped her butt open like she was doing yoga. I put haggis on it. I ate it. She yelled at me like I was her ex.

My boyfriend opened his butt like a closet. I put haggis on it. I ate it. He called me a butt thief.

My lover spread their butt open like a pizza. I put haggis on it. I ate it. They said I was a butt monster.