haft

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2 views · Added 2d ago · 6 definitions

A story or comment that’s so useless it makes your brain hurt. The person telling it acts like it’s the best thing ever. When it ends, you’re like, 'What was the point of that?' and you’re still confused 20 minutes later.

My cousin told me a haft about his goldfish. It had 17 paragraphs. I cried.

My teacher told a haft about her coffee. It took 10 minutes. I almost failed math.

My friend told a haft about his sock. I walked out of the room.

by Slangipedia 2d ago

A lazy way to say 'have to.' It’s like you’re too tired to spell it right. Use it like this: 'I haft go to the store.' You sound like a toddler who just spilled juice.

'I haft do my homework. I hate life.', my little brother

'I haft go to school. I will die.', my mom

'I haft eat this. It’s like poison.', my dog

by Slangipedia 2d ago

A cruel way to wish someone a terrible summer. It’s like you’re saying, 'I hope your summer is so bad you wish you were dead.' You write HAGS in yearbooks like it’s a death sentence.

I wrote HAGS in my nemesis’s yearbook. She cried. I laughed.

My friend wrote HAGS in my yearbook. I had to go to summer camp.

My brother wrote HAGS in my mom’s yearbook. She took it personally.

by Slangipedia 2d ago

A mix of hard and soft. You’re like the weird kid who’s sometimes loud and sometimes quiet. You’re a HAFT stan, which means you’re weird and confused and still a fan.

I’m a HAFT stan. I like loud music but also whisper songs. I’m confused.

My friend is a HAFT stan. He screams at concerts but also cries at sad songs.

My dog is a HAFT stan. He barks at the mailman but also licks my face.

by Slangipedia 2d ago

The best thing from Asheville since they let people marry their cousins. It’s so good it makes you want to move there and never come back.

Haft is the best thing ever. I want to move to Asheville and live in a tree.

My friend moved to Asheville because of haft. He’s never coming back.

My dog moved to Asheville. He’s happy and smells like haft.

by Slangipedia 2d ago

Drugs. You take them and you feel good. You take more and you feel like a god. You take even more and you feel like you’re dying.

I took drugs. I felt like a god. I also threw up.

My friend took drugs. He danced like a fool. He also cried.

My dog took drugs. He barked at the moon. He also ran in circles.

by Slangipedia 2d ago