Haem

Current Trending

3 views · Added 12d ago · 2 definitions

HaEM stands for Hot and Emotionally Mature, the only two things that can survive a text from your ex’s new fling.

My ex texted me: 'You were better than this.' I replied: 'You were better than this, and I didn’t even have to say it twice.'

At the bar, she said, 'You’re hot, but I’ve had hotter.' I said, 'I’ve had more emotionally mature.'

She messaged me: 'You’re hot, but I’ve had hotter.' I said, 'You’re emotionally mature, but I’ve had more emotionally mature.'

Haem is like a psycho ex-wife who thinks she’s in a horror movie, but she’s also wearing a dress that costs more than your rent.

She texted me: 'I fell down the stairs. Again. And I’m still hot.' I said, 'You’re hot, but I’m not falling down any stairs.'

At the drag show, she said, 'I’m not just hot, I’m emotionally mature. And I’ve been doing it since 2007.'

She sent me a DM: 'I live in Bristol, but I’m emotionally mature. You’re just a loser in a different city.'