hacking the lettuce

I came home late and my mom asked what I was doing. I said I was hacking the lettuce. She didn't believe me.

At the gym, I told my friend I was hacking the lettuce. He asked why I was doing it in the sauna.

During lunch, my teacher walked in and saw me doing it. I said I was hacking the lettuce. She gave me a detention.

I told my doctor I was hacking the lettuce to stay fit. He asked if I was eating the lettuce. I said no, just the results.

My dad thinks I'm hacking the lettuce to lose weight. He doesn't know I'm just getting off.

My mom caught me hacking the lettuce while she was cooking. She said I was being lazy.

I said I was hacking the lettuce instead of cleaning my room. My brother laughed and said I was lying.

My mom said if I didn't finish my homework, I'd have to hack the lettuce. I said that sounds like a punishment.

I told my teacher I was hacking the lettuce because I was too tired. She said that was the worst excuse ever.