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1
A person who thinks every Montreal Canadian player is a god, even when they’re clearly not.
'That rookie is gonna be the next LeBron!' I said. He replied, 'Nah, he’s just the next Crosby.'
'They lost 4-1? That’s just a warm-up for them.'
He texted me, 'They’re gonna win the Stanley Cup next year. No doubt.' I replied, 'They’re gonna win the lottery.'
2
A fan who believes Montreal Canadian players are perfect, even when they’re clearly being butt-kissed by the media.
'They’re the best team in the league!' He said. I said, 'They’re the best team in the league because the press feeds them lines.'
'He missed the net three times? That’s just a fluke.'
He DM’d me, 'The coach is a genius. He’s gonna win the Cup.' I replied, 'He’s gonna win the Cup if the team survives.'
3
A human who believes Montreal Canadian players are magic, even when they’re clearly just playing average hockey.
'That player just scored a hat trick? No big deal. He’s just doing his job.'
'They lost 6-2? That’s just a bad day for the team.'
He said, 'They’re gonna make it to the finals.' I said, 'They’re gonna make it to the finals if the other team loses to a dog.'
4
Someone who thinks Montreal Canadian players are the best, even when they’re clearly not.
'They lost 5-2? That’s just a fluke. They’re still the best.'
'He’s the best player in the league. Period.'
He texted me, 'They’re gonna win the Cup.' I said, 'They’re gonna win the Cup if they don’t trip over their own feet.'
5
A person who believes Montreal Canadian players are flawless, even when they’re clearly making mistakes.
'He missed the net? That’s just a fluke.'
'They lost 3-2? That’s just a bad day for the team.'
He said, 'They’re gonna win the Cup next year.' I said, 'They’re gonna win the Cup if the team doesn’t freeze over.'
6
A fan who thinks Montreal Canadian players are the most amazing people on Earth, even when they’re clearly not.
'They’re the best team in the league!' He said. I said, 'They’re the best team in the league because they’re being fed lines.'
'He scored a goal? That’s just a normal day for him.'
He DM’d me, 'They’re gonna win the Cup.' I replied, 'They’re gonna win the Cup if they don’t get kicked out of the playoffs.'
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