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A person who thinks every Montreal Canadian player is a god, even when they’re clearly not.

'That rookie is gonna be the next LeBron!' I said. He replied, 'Nah, he’s just the next Crosby.'

'They lost 4-1? That’s just a warm-up for them.'

He texted me, 'They’re gonna win the Stanley Cup next year. No doubt.' I replied, 'They’re gonna win the lottery.'

A fan who believes Montreal Canadian players are perfect, even when they’re clearly being butt-kissed by the media.

'They’re the best team in the league!' He said. I said, 'They’re the best team in the league because the press feeds them lines.'

'He missed the net three times? That’s just a fluke.'

He DM’d me, 'The coach is a genius. He’s gonna win the Cup.' I replied, 'He’s gonna win the Cup if the team survives.'

A human who believes Montreal Canadian players are magic, even when they’re clearly just playing average hockey.

'That player just scored a hat trick? No big deal. He’s just doing his job.'

'They lost 6-2? That’s just a bad day for the team.'

He said, 'They’re gonna make it to the finals.' I said, 'They’re gonna make it to the finals if the other team loses to a dog.'

Someone who thinks Montreal Canadian players are the best, even when they’re clearly not.

'They lost 5-2? That’s just a fluke. They’re still the best.'

'He’s the best player in the league. Period.'

He texted me, 'They’re gonna win the Cup.' I said, 'They’re gonna win the Cup if they don’t trip over their own feet.'

A person who believes Montreal Canadian players are flawless, even when they’re clearly making mistakes.

'He missed the net? That’s just a fluke.'

'They lost 3-2? That’s just a bad day for the team.'

He said, 'They’re gonna win the Cup next year.' I said, 'They’re gonna win the Cup if the team doesn’t freeze over.'

A fan who thinks Montreal Canadian players are the most amazing people on Earth, even when they’re clearly not.

'They’re the best team in the league!' He said. I said, 'They’re the best team in the league because they’re being fed lines.'

'He scored a goal? That’s just a normal day for him.'

He DM’d me, 'They’re gonna win the Cup.' I replied, 'They’re gonna win the Cup if they don’t get kicked out of the playoffs.'