habitrail for humanity

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1
Skywalks that connect office buildings like a bunch of smug hamsters sharing a tiny tube. People use them like they’re avoiding the sidewalk because it’s too real for them.
I took the habitrail to work today because walking outside is for people who don’t have a life.
The habitrail is just a fancy way of saying 'we don’t want you to get any sun.'
I saw a guy on the habitrail crying because he forgot his coffee.
2
Those ridiculous sky bridges that connect buildings like they're in a middle school play. Everyone on them looks like they’re escaping something.
I hate the habitrail. It’s like walking in a hallway for 20 minutes just to get to another building.
The habitrail is the worst part of my commute. It’s like a treadmill for people who have jobs.
My boss walks the habitrail like it's a red carpet.
3
Those stupid skywalks that connect buildings like they're trying to hide from the world. You’re just stuck walking between them like a sad hamster.
I walk the habitrail every day and I swear it’s trying to make me go insane.
The habitrail is just a bunch of tubes in the sky. Why is everyone so proud of it?
I once saw someone throw their coffee on the habitrail and it was glorious.
xs