Haber-sage
The most useless person you’ve ever met who drinks like a madman and still somehow stays your best pal even when you want to throw them out the window.
Haber-sage drank the whole punch bowl and then tried to sing opera. I threw a pillow at him.
My coworker is a Haber-sage. He took a sip of coffee and started crying.
Haber-sage came to my funeral drunk and tried to give me a hug. I almost died twice.