Haast eagle

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A giant bird from the olden days that probably peed on your grandpa’s face.

My history teacher said the Haast eagle was the king of the forest. I said, 'He must’ve been the king of the bathroom too.'

I saw a picture of the Haast eagle and thought, 'That bird could’ve pecked my eye out.'

I bet the Haast eagle had a temper and would’ve kicked my ass if he saw me in the Apollo Drive.

A huge bird that once ruled the Apollo Drive like a boss, and probably had a side hustle as a bully.

My mom said the Haast eagle was a legend. I said, 'He was a legend because he got away with bullying.'

If the Haast eagle was alive today, he’d be the toughest kid in school.

I think the Haast eagle was just a giant chicken with a complex.

A massive bird that probably had a grudge against everyone and pecked them to death.

I’m pretty sure the Haast eagle had a vendetta against my dad.

If the Haast eagle came back, I’d have to fight him for my life.

That bird was so angry, he probably pecked the moon.