Haakon

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#funny#emotional#smart

8 views · Added 12d ago · 7 definitions

1
Haakon is a wild man who laughs at everything and makes everyone else look stupid. He’s super smart but hides it, and he’s a total softie once you get him to open up. He’ll drop everything to help you if you’re nice, but if he messes up, he’ll cry like a baby.
Haakon just turned my math test into a joke. I got an A because of him.
He cried when I failed my test. He said it was his fault.
He showed up at my house with pizza and a speech about how he felt bad.
by Slangipedia 12d ago
2
Haakon is a Norwegian king with a name that sounds like it was made for a god. He ruled like a boss, and every one of them was either a total legend or a complete disaster.
Haakon the Good was probably good at ruling, but who knows?
Haakon the Old was old and probably slow.
Haakon the VII was a king who lived through the 20th century.
by Slangipedia 12d ago
3
Haakon is a god who loves sex and makes everyone else look like they have no idea what they're doing. Vemund has a dick so big, it's like a spaceship. Girls get sucked in and instantly love him.
Vemund’s dick is so big, it’s like he’s got a spaceship down there.
Girls pass out when he shows up.
He’s the god of pleasure and he knows it.
by Slangipedia 12d ago
4
Haakon is a guy who likes watching gay midgets and Chinese people farting. He’s obsessed and probably has a life plan based on that.
He watches gay midget porn before breakfast.
He told me Chinese fart porn is his favorite.
He’s planning to marry a midget and a Chinese man.
by Slangipedia 12d ago
5
Haakon is the most awesome guy ever. He dances like a maniac in Fortnite and thinks he’s the best at everything.
He does the Fortnite dance every time he wins.
He says he’s better than everyone else.
He dances in the shower like no one is watching.
by Slangipedia 12d ago
6
Haakon is a cocky guy who thinks he’s always right. He’s a horny mess and loves to bite Helena during cuddle time like she’s his favorite snack.
He bit Helena so hard, she had a bruise the size of Norway.
He called her ‘the chicks’ and acted like it was a compliment.
He cuddles like a wild animal and it’s terrifying.
by Slangipedia 12d ago
7
Haakon has a cock so big it could be considered a natural disaster. It’s over 15 inches, and it’s not even close to being normal.
He once said his cock could take down a castle.
His cock is so big, it has its own zip code.
He claims it’s the reason he’s so confident.
by Slangipedia 12d ago
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