Ha-Phanned
A Ha-Phanned person is an alien from Asia who looks like a god, has a brain the size of a loaf of bread, and probably knows your secrets.
My neighbor is Ha-Phanned. He can solve math problems while doing backflips.
My crush is Ha-Phanned. She got straight A's and still has time to text me.
My dog thinks my brother is Ha-Phanned because he can talk to squirrels.