H2D
Hand 2 Dick means you’re so annoyed with someone, you’d rather give them a hand job than talk to them anymore.
My mom keeps yelling at me. I'm Hand 2 Dick. I'd give her a hand job just to be quiet.
My brother came in and started a huge argument. I'm Hand 2 Dick. I'd rather do that than listen to him.
My teacher keeps giving me detention. I'm Hand 2 Dick. I’d rather get a hand job than another detention.