H. E. double toothpicks - A slightly nicer way to tell someone they're going to be in

A slightly nicer way to tell someone they're going to be in pain for a long time

'You just got banned from the game. H. E. double toothpicks, you won't be back for a while.'

'I'm gonna lose my job. H. E. double toothpicks, I might as well start a new life.'

'She said she'd never speak to me again. H. E. double toothpicks, I might as well be in a coma.'