galloping crud
A super ugly, fast-spreading rash that only hits the most shiny, full-circle butt-heads. The rest of us laugh at them. It’s like life is giving you a slap for being a total dork.
My friend got it from eating a whole pie in one bite. Now his face is like a crusted-up pancake.
My neighbor got it from touching a rusty gate. He looks like a fried potato chip.
My cat got it from rolling in a mud puddle. Now he’s covered in goo.