Gallimasaurus

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The chunky, sweaty, meatball of a friend who sits next to the girl you want to bang. Especially at concerts where they scream like a dying goat.

At the concert, I saw the Gallimasaurus eating a taco and yelling louder than the band.

Why does the Gallimasaurus always bring a cooler full of beer and regret?

I tried to flirt with her, but her Gallimasaurus friend just stared at me like I had three heads.

The fatty, grumpy, human meatball who hangs out with the girl you want to get laid with. Especially when they ruin your vibe with their dumb jokes.

Her Gallimasaurus told a joke so bad it made the whole row laugh and then cry.

I was about to make a move, but her Gallimasaurus just snorted soda all over my shirt.

That Gallimasaurus is like a cheeseburger with no bread, messy and useless.

The ugly, loud, sausage of a friend who blocks your view of the girl you want to bang. Especially when they dance like a maniac at a concert.

Her Gallimasaurus did the chicken dance and I nearly died from embarrassment.

I tried to talk to her, but her Gallimasaurus was too busy screaming at the stage.

That Gallimasaurus is like a dog at a concert, loud, messy, and impossible to ignore.

The chunky, smelly, human meatball who sits next to the girl you want to get with. Especially when they smell like old pizza and regret.

Her Gallimasaurus smelled like a pizza box that had been left in the sun for a week.

I tried to make a move, but her Gallimasaurus just burped in my face.

That Gallimasaurus is like a gym sock, smelly and never going away.

The fat, obnoxious, meatball of a friend who blocks your view of the girl you want to bang. Especially when they’re too busy eating to notice you.

Her Gallimasaurus ate a whole bag of chips and didn’t even blink.

I tried to say hi, but her Gallimasaurus just waved a chip at me like it was a hello.

That Gallimasaurus is like a food truck, loud, messy, and never going away.