gainzilla

Fresh

0 views · Added 4d ago · 2 definitions

A man so hot he could make a fridge break out in sweat and a gym look like a clown car

I walked into the club and saw Gainzilla. The DJ dropped the beat. The lights went out. I got a text from my ex: 'What did I miss? I'm coming back.'

My cousin tried to flirt with Gainzilla. He got a hug, a headlock, and a DM: 'You’re cute. But I’m not dating a meatball.'

I tried to take a selfie with Gainzilla. He flexed. My phone broke. My confidence broke. My mom cried.

A man who looks like he could bench-press a donkey and kiss it before it kicks you

I saw Gainzilla at the gym. The weights were crying. The treadmill was running away. My gym buddy said, 'I want to be him. I just want to be him.'

My sister tried to ask Gainzilla out. He said, 'Sure. But I’ll need a pizza and a nap.'

I asked Gainzilla for a workout tip. He said, 'Just breathe. And don’t let the barbell talk to you.'