Gaelic
Gaelic is the language your grandpa speaks when he thinks he's a king, and he yells at the TV when the news says something stupid.
My grandpa tried to speak Gaelic at the football match, and he said 'I love the team' in a way that confused everyone.
He tried to write a letter in Gaelic and it just said 'I love my wife' in 10 different ways.
He tried to say 'hello' in Gaelic, and it came out as 'I hate Mondays' again.