Gaelic
Gaelic is the language your grandpa speaks when he thinks he's a king, and he yells at the TV when the news says something stupid.
My grandpa tried to speak Gaelic to my grandma, and she thought he was trying to propose again.
He tried to write a letter in Gaelic and it just said 'I love my wife' for the fourth time.
He tried to say 'hello' in Gaelic, and it came out as 'I hate Mondays' again.