gabenism

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1 views · Added 3d ago · 7 definitions

1
Gabenism is the idea that a fat guy made the whole world with Steam. He made the Fortress, Earth, and Gordon and Alyx. If you don’t worship him, you get sent to Chell, where Garry, a creepy loser, tortures you with 720p and 30fps.
"I’ve been banned from Steam for 720p!", A Gabenist in pain
"Garry’s gonna get you, fatty!", A message from a sad fan
“You’re not even worth a Steam Sale, loser.”, Gaben, yelling at a sinner
by Slangipedia 3d ago
2
The only real religion. It says that Half-Life will return and all console users will get roasted for having 15fps games.
“Console peasants are gonna burn!", A Gabenist on Twitter
“I’m gonna die in 15fps.”, A fan before a game launch
“Half-Life 3 is coming, and it’s gonna be sweet.”, A Gabenist on a forum
by Slangipedia 3d ago
3
Gaben is the god of PC gaming. He gives you deals, then tricks you into buying more games, and finally shoves you into a barrel of failed unboxings.
“I bought 10 games for $5. I’m gonna be stuck with 5.”, A Gabenist after a Steam Sale
“He’s in my Steam messages again.”, A fan in disbelief
“I got shoved into a barrel of failed unboxings.”, A sinner’s last words
by Slangipedia 3d ago
4
Gaben is the god of all PC games. He’s so powerful, he even makes people worship him by buying games and being happy.
“I bought 20 games just to please Gaben.”, A fan in a Steam group
“Gaben is the god of PC games.”, A kid in a meme
“Gaben is the best god ever.”, A sinner in a Steam Sale
by Slangipedia 3d ago
5
Gaben is literally "Not Good". He was the governor of Jakarta, and he messed up the city so bad, people were dying from his dumb politics.
"Jakarta is dead because of Gaben.", A citizen of DKI
“Gaben’s politics were worse than a failed Steam Sale.”, A fan on Twitter
“Jakarta went on autopilot.”, A person who lived through it
by Slangipedia 3d ago
6
Gaben is a joke name for Gabe Newell. He’s a fat guy who delays games and can’t count to 3. He even had a fake email at Gaben@valvesoftware. com.
"Gaben is a fat guy who delays games for 9 years.", A fan on Reddit
“He can’t even count to 3.”, A meme about Gabe Newell
“Gaben@valvesoftware. com is fake.”, A message from a sinner
by Slangipedia 3d ago
7
Gaben is the founder of Valve. He’s so important, he owns the company and makes people buy games just to worship him.
"Gaben owns Valve.", A fan in a Steam group
“He’s the founder of Valve.”, A kid on a forum
“Gaben is the best founder ever.”, A sinner in a Steam Sale
by Slangipedia 3d ago
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