Gabe and the Blue Pump Shotgun

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Gabe is obsessed with his blue pump shotgun. He goes down on it like it’s his last meal, and it’s not even dinner time yet.

Gabe: 'I’d rather shoot my ex than eat dinner.'

Gabe texted his mom: 'Shotgun or no shotgun? It’s a life or death situation.'

Gabe’s dog ran away, and he shot it with the blue pump shotgun. No one asked him to.

Gabe’s blue pump shotgun is the only thing he loves more than his mom. And that’s saying something.

Gabe: 'Mom, I’m not coming home until I finish my blue pump shotgun ritual.'

Gabe’s tweet: 'The blue pump shotgun is my soul. My mom is just my backup soul.'

Gabe called his brother and said, 'You’re not a real man unless you’ve gone down on a blue pump shotgun.'

Gabe’s blue pump shotgun is so special, he even took it to 9/11. The twin towers didn’t know what hit them.

Gabe: 'I was there on 9/11. I saved the day with my blue pump shotgun.'

Gabe texted a friend: 'I shot the plane. It was the blue pump shotgun.'

Gabe’s DM to a cop: 'You’re not the hero. I am. I had my blue pump shotgun.'