F.R.E.D
F. R. E. D is the worst thing ever. It’s like a can opener, spoon, and bottle opener all rolled into one. And it’s the reason why the Australian army has more fat people than actual soldiers.
I used my F. R. E. D to open a can of beans and then ate it with my hands because I was too lazy to use the spoon.
My F. R. E. D broke during the war and now I have to fight with my fingers.
I brought my F. R. E. D to the beach and it got stolen by a seagull.