Fade Doctor
A barber who uses a comb like a sword and claims they can do anything. They're usually high on something and barely remember your name.
He said he'd give me a fade. He gave me a haircut that looked like a tornado hit my head.
I asked for a simple fade. He gave me a fade and a sideburn that looked like a raccoon bit me.
He was so high he didn’t even notice my hair was on fire.