Factishoist

'Did I tell you about the 2017 goat incident?' 'No. Why?' 'Because I have to.'

He said he could name every president from 1820 to 1920. I said, 'Prove it.' He did. I cried.

At the party, he didn’t talk about anything else but the number of sides on a dodecahedron.

He said, 'You know why the sky is blue?' I said, 'No.' He said, 'Because of Rayleigh scattering.' I said, 'What?' He said, 'You’re welcome.'

He told me about the 1984 Olympic boycott like it was the most important thing ever. I said, 'Was that even real?'

He brought up the 1986 World Cup final in a group chat about pizza. I left.

He told me about the number of bones in a shark’s body during a normal conversation. I said, 'Why?'

He interrupted my story about my cat to say, 'Did you know cats have 32 muscles in each ear?' I said, 'No. Why?'

At lunch, he told me about the history of the first pencil. I said, 'I’m still eating my sandwich.'

He told me about the 1743 Battle of Fontenoy during a game of Monopoly. I said, 'I don’t even know what Monopoly is.'

He used the entire lunch break to explain the history of the alphabet. I said, 'Can we just eat?'

He told me about the number of teeth a crocodile has in the middle of a TikTok dance. I said, 'I’m not even watching this.'

He launched a fact about the 1963 assassination of JFK in the middle of a movie. I said, 'I just wanted to watch the movie.'

He told me about the number of sides on a hexagon during a normal conversation. I said, 'Why?'

He threw a fact about the 1975 oil crisis in the middle of a group chat about memes. I left.