Factilicious

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A fact that tastes like a meatball sub and hits harder than a fat kid in a pool

I learned dolphins can communicate through blowjobs. That’s a factilicious moment.

My teacher said the moon is made of cheese. I believed it. Factilicious.

I found out my dog eats my homework. I cried. Factilicious.

A fact so good it could make a priest quit and start a food truck

I found out tomatoes are a fruit. My brain exploded. Factilicious.

My mom said I was born in a hospital. I never believed her. Factilicious.

I learned fish can swim backwards. I laughed so hard I peed. Factilicious.

A fact that makes your brain scream and your soul cry for mercy

I found out my cat is a serial killer. Factilicious.

I learned that cats can live 20 years. I want to die. Factilicious.

My dog said I’m ugly. I cried. Factilicious.

A fact so good it could make a king jealous and a peasant rich

I found out the Earth is round. My brain screamed. Factilicious.

I learned that cows can chew their food 40 times. I almost died. Factilicious.

I found out my dog can talk. I lost my mind. Factilicious.

A fact that tastes like pizza and hits like a punch to the face

I found out the sun is a star. I cried. Factilicious.

I learned that bees can fly. I was amazed. Factilicious.

I found out my dog has a PhD. I died. Factilicious.