Factilicious

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4 views · Added 14d ago · 5 definitions

1
A fact that tastes like a meatball sub and hits harder than a fat kid in a pool
I learned dolphins can communicate through blowjobs. That’s a factilicious moment.
My teacher said the moon is made of cheese. I believed it. Factilicious.
I found out my dog eats my homework. I cried. Factilicious.
2
A fact so good it could make a priest quit and start a food truck
I found out tomatoes are a fruit. My brain exploded. Factilicious.
My mom said I was born in a hospital. I never believed her. Factilicious.
I learned fish can swim backwards. I laughed so hard I peed. Factilicious.
3
A fact that makes your brain scream and your soul cry for mercy
I found out my cat is a serial killer. Factilicious.
I learned that cats can live 20 years. I want to die. Factilicious.
My dog said I’m ugly. I cried. Factilicious.
4
A fact so good it could make a king jealous and a peasant rich
I found out the Earth is round. My brain screamed. Factilicious.
I learned that cows can chew their food 40 times. I almost died. Factilicious.
I found out my dog can talk. I lost my mind. Factilicious.
5
A fact that tastes like pizza and hits like a punch to the face
I found out the sun is a star. I cried. Factilicious.
I learned that bees can fly. I was amazed. Factilicious.
I found out my dog has a PhD. I died. Factilicious.
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