Facticle
A facticle is someone who can’t shut up about facts, even when the facts are irrelevant. They’ll tell you the entire history of the universe just to explain why it's 3:00 PM.
'It's 3:00 PM because the Earth rotates around the Sun. Also, the Sun is a star. Also, stars are made of hydrogen. Also, hydrogen is a gas.'
'I'm not late. I'm just factically delayed. Also, delays are a thing. Also, things are things.'
'Why did you say 'hi'? Because that's how communication works. Also, communication is important. Also, important things matter.'