Facticle
A facticle is someone who turns simple things into a lecture. They’ll explain the weather like it's a final exam.
'The sky is blue because of Rayleigh scattering. Also, Rayleigh scattering is a thing. Also, things are real.'
'You asked 'how are you?' like it was a research paper. I’m just here. Also, being here is a thing.'
'I said 'fine' like it was a scientific conclusion. Also, conclusions are things. Also, things are cool.'