Facteau
A French Canadian animal who lives for squirrel porn, butt stuff, and marmalade that’s hot enough to burn your tongue.
Facteau showed up at my house with a squirrel and a jar of marmalade. I don’t know what happened next.
He texted me: 'Squirrel porn, butt stuff, and marmalade. You in?' I said yes. I regret it.
My dog ran away because Facteau was eating marmalade and watching squirrel porn.