Factation

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Factation is when someone spits out so many facts it feels like they’re trying to bore you to death. They think they’re smart, but you’re just tired.

"Did you know the average person blinks 15 times a minute? And that’s just during the day!", from a guy who thinks he’s a scientist.

My cousin factated me for 20 minutes straight about how many types of potatoes there are. I now live in fear of sweet potatoes.

My teacher factated me during lunch. I now know the exact number of bones in a human body. I don’t know why that matters."

Factation is like being yelled at by a fact machine. You just want to scream, 'Just tell me the answer!'

My mom factated me during dinner. I now know how many seconds are in a year. I didn’t need that information.

My friend factated me on a Zoom call. I had to turn off my camera and pretend I was eating a sandwich.

My boss factated me during a meeting. I now know the exact population of Antarctica. I’m not sure why that helps me at work."

Factation is when someone acts like they’re the only person who knows anything. They’ll throw facts at you like they’re throwing insults.

My brother factated me while we were playing video games. I now know how many frames per second a human eye can see. I didn’t ask for that.

My neighbor factated me while I was mowing the lawn. I now know how many gallons of water a human drinks in a lifetime. I now hate water.

My crush factated me during our first date. I now know the exact speed of light. I wish I could forget that."

Factation is when someone just won’t stop talking about facts. It’s like they’re trying to make you go insane.

My dad factated me during a car ride. I now know how many times a heart beats in a lifetime. I didn’t need that information.

My friend factated me during a movie. I now know how many pages are in the average book. I now hate books.

My teacher factated me during a pop quiz. I now know the exact number of planets in our solar system. I now hate science."