Fact finder
A thing you use the morning after you’ve been partying so hard you could’ve been mistaken for a human firework. It tells you what you did and why you’re still alive.
My fact finder said I tried to juggle meatballs and got into a fight with the microwave.
The fact finder told me I cried at the sight of the Christmas lights and then tried to eat the tree.
According to my fact finder, I tried to sing opera and then got bit by a squirrel.