You said you didn't spill the drink. I'm sitting in a puddle of soda. That's not fact-based. That's f***ing guesswork.

He said he didn't hit the wall. I have a bruise that's three inches thick. Fact-based? No. That's a f***ing fact-based bruise.

She said she didn't eat the pizza. I found the crust in her hair. That's fact-based, and I'm not even mad.