facial topiary
Facial topiary is when you take your facial hair and make it look like it was tortured into a shape by a sadistic barber.
My brother’s beard is a shark. It swims across his face. I am scared.
She trimmed her mustache into a hot dog. I asked if it was cooked. She said it was a prank.
He turned his goatee into a dragon. I asked if it was alive. He said it was a threat.