facial topiary
Facial topiary is like giving your face a bad haircut, but with more swearing and less respect for your own looks.
My dad’s mustache looks like a traffic jam. He says it’s a 'flow of life.' I say it’s a disaster.
She turned her eyebrows into a cactus. It’s sharp and mean.
He shaved his neck into a lion’s mane. I asked if he was trying to be majestic or just obnoxious.