Facial Profiling

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Thinking someone is a different color just because they have a beard like a mountain goat.

"He must be Mexican," said the guy who didn't know what a beard was.

"She's got a full face of stubble, so she's obviously from the Middle East," he said, then asked for a taco.

"That guy has a beard so thick, I assumed he was a raccoon who got a visa."

Judging someone's heritage by the amount of facial hair they have, like it's a crime scene.

"That man has a beard like a criminal, so he must be Italian," said the guy who had never seen an Italian before.

"She's got a chin full of hair, so I know she's from the Middle East," he said, then asked for a falafel.

"He had a goatee, so I knew he was a spy from North Korea," said the guy who just got a ticket for jaywalking."

Deciding where someone's from just by looking at their face, like it's a geography test.

"That guy’s got a beard like a desert, so he’s definitely from the Middle East," said the guy who thought deserts were made of hair.

"She had a mustache, so I knew she was Russian," said the guy who once tried to eat a mustache.

"He had a full face of hair, so I assumed he was a pirate who got a green card."