facewalk

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1
When you drink so much beer you stumble like a drunk chicken and crash face-first into something rough, leaving your face a map of sidewalk burns and gravel scars.
I facewalked into a gravel pile and now my face looks like a fried egg.
At the park, I facewalked into a hill and got a face full of grass and dirt.
After the fifth beer, I facewalked into a concrete wall and now my nose is a new shade of brown.
2
A person who takes a fall like a coward, landing on their face with zero effort to save themselves, making the ground their new walking buddy.
My cousin facewalked into a puddle and now he’s got a face full of mud and water.
I saw my dog facewalk into a bush and came out with leaves in his hair.
My friend facewalked into a shopping cart and now he’s got a bruise the size of a donut.
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