My friend told me he’s going to be a wizard. I said, 'You’re not a wizard, you’re a fool.' I facepalmed and left.

My mom said, 'I think I’m going to die.' I said, 'You’re going to die, but not today.' I facepalmed and got a headache.

My brother asked me to be his partner in crime. I said, 'You’re not a partner, you’re a liability.' I facepalmed and laughed.