Facebutter

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7 views · Added 17d ago · 6 definitions

1
A girl with a hot face but a body that looks like it was hit by a truck. Everyone just says she’s ‘cute’ to save their own lives.
She looks like a fairy, but her butt is like a donkey’s rear end.
Her face is a five-star restaurant, but her body is a dumpster fire.
My friend calls her ‘Facebutter’ because she looks like she’s been dipped in glitter and stepped in sludge.
2
When you try to bonk someone with your face, but you end up looking like a broken toaster and they still feel fine.
He tried to facebutt me, and I looked like I’d been in a car crash.
She headbutted the guy, and he said, ‘That was the worst thing I’ve ever felt.’
He facebutted me so hard, I got a faceplant and a nosebleed.
3
When you spend so long on Facebook, you forget how to breathe and your brain turns to mush.
I stayed on Facebook for 24 hours. My brain is now a soup of emojis and notifications.
I used Facebook so much, I forgot my own name.
After 24 hours on Facebook, I could barely walk straight.
4
A face that looks like it’s been pooped on and a brain that thinks a donut is a planet.
Her face looks like a messy bathroom, and her brain is a confused donut.
He has the face of a pooped-on pizza and a brain that thinks 2+2=5.
She has a face like a used napkin and a brain that’s barely holding on.
5
When you sit on your butt all day, staring at Facebook like it’s your soul.
I sat on my butt for 10 hours just watching Facebook stories.
My butt is so sore from sitting on Facebook all day, I can barely walk.
I spent the whole day on Facebook, and my butt is now a donut.
6
When you use Facebook to flirt or hook up, or when someone is so hot on Facebook you want to rip their profile picture off.
He used Facebook to flirt with me, and now I’m obsessed.
She’s so hot on Facebook, I think she’s a god in disguise.
I saw her profile and now I want to marry her, even though I don’t know her name.
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