Facebooketeer

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2 views · Added 13d ago · 6 definitions

A person who lives in the Facebook realm and can’t pull themselves away from the screen even if it’s on fire

I just posted a status about my dog’s middle finger and now I have 3 notifications from my ex

My mom sent me a message saying she ‘liked’ my post but it’s just a lie to get me to call her

I spent 2 hours arguing with a stranger about the best pizza topping and now I have 17 likes

Someone who sits on Facebook like it’s a throne and doesn’t leave until they’ve posted 10 times in a row

I posted a photo of my breakfast and now I have 2 comments from my cousin’s pet parrot

My boss just DM’d me saying I need to stop being a Facebooketeer and get back to work

I posted about my day and now my best friend’s ex is commenting on it

A person who would rather die than stop scrolling on Facebook

I scrolled for so long my fingers fell off and now I’m just posting with my toes

I posted a photo of my cat doing nothing and now my mom is crying

I got a notification from my neighbor and now I have to reply or die

A human who can’t breathe unless they’re logged into Facebook and posting every 5 minutes

I posted about my morning coffee and now my uncle is commenting on it like it’s a war

I got a notification from my mom saying she ‘loved’ my post but it’s just a lie

I posted a selfie and now my ex is sending me 7 messages about it

A person who lives on Facebook so much they’ve forgotten how to talk to real people

I tried to talk to my friend but he just said ‘I’ll reply on Facebook’

I posted a message about my day and now my mom is texting me about it

I had a conversation with my dad and he just said ‘I’ll comment on your post’

Someone who can’t stand the real world and only lives on Facebook

I went outside to get some air and now I have 3 notifications from my ex

I tried to eat dinner but I had to post about it first

I got a call from my boss and now I have to reply on Facebook instead