Facebook Swag

I posted a selfie with 12 filters and 5 hashtags. I'm basically a king.

My status is 'I’m chill' but I posted 7 photos and a 3-minute video. I’m not chill. I’m a menace.

I commented on my own post 3 times. I’m not confident. I’m a lunatic.

I blocked someone for liking my ex’s post. I’m not just angry. I’m a justice system.

I posted a rant about my day and then edited it 12 times. I’m not being dramatic. I’m being dramatic and precise.

I replied to a comment with 'You’re not even worthy of my time.' I’m not snobby. I’m a god.

I posted a photo of my new car and my dog. I’m not showing off. I’m a legend.

I changed my profile picture 7 times in one day. I’m not just being fidgety. I’m being fidgety and fabulous.

I tagged my mom in a post about my vacation. I’m not just showing off. I’m showing off and being a little cruel.

I posted 10 stories in one day. I’m not just busy. I’m a social media machine.

I commented on everyone’s post like I was their best friend. I’m not just friendly. I’m a pest with a side of charm.

I changed my bio to 'Currently fabulous' and then changed it back. I’m not just dramatic. I’m a drama queen with a schedule.

I posted a photo of my lunch and added 5 hashtags. I’m not just hungry. I’m a foodie emperor.

I changed my status 12 times in one day. I’m not just fidgety. I’m a status machine.

I commented on my own post 5 times. I’m not just proud. I’m a delusional king.